So close, but yet...

My latest round of revisions are complete. My devoted readers have the manuscript in their paws yet again. My advice to them this time was to read it like it's already a "real" book. Read it for pleasure, for the content. Don't worry so much about the commas and punctuation stuff- although if there are any big, glaring mistakes, of course let me know. But just read through it like you would any other book. Then tell me what you think. Of course, it's kinda a moot point for them, considering they already know how it ends.

I have my first ever writer's conference next weekend, so I figured I'll wait to get through that and then I'll start the submission process. I'm really hoping to learn some valuable information and do a little networking, but I honestly have no idea what to expect. Who knows, maybe I'll end up doing yet another round of revisions based on something I've learned. Although at this point, I'm not sure there's anything more I can add or change; that is, until perhaps an agent or editor gives me suggestions. Sigh.

It's time to step away from In My Mind's Eye now, though. I mean, at least revision-wise. I'm too close to it and I'm starting to doubt everything all over again. This happens every time I read a good YA novel, too (and I read at least one a week). But when I go back and reread it after stepping away for a couple weeks, I think it's pretty damn good. It's just that the more I sit and pore over it, the more I start to question everything I've written. The more I wonder if this will actually go anywhere. If I've spent over a year of my life writing something that will just end up in countless slush piles.

But anyway...let's stop that negativity, shall we?

So, for now I need to continue on compiling my agent list, and I also need to work on my synopsis. It's written and I kept it to three pages, but I'd still like to try to cut it down a bit. Not every agent asks for one, but they still say you should have one ready to go, just in case. I'd much rather be prepared and able to give an agent what they ask for right away, too.

Fingers crossed, kids...fingers crossed.

You Blog & You Learn

When I started this little blog like six months ago or so, all I wanted to do was share the journey I'm going on with my writing, as well as little bits of my personal life here and there. I had no idea if anyone would read it, and to be honest I still have no idea how many "loyal" readers I have out there. I put my posts up on Facebook and Twitter, and figure if people are bored maybe they'll take a minute to read it. I assumed my readership would mostly be friends and family who are aware of the process I'm going through and want to check in to see how it's going.

Thanks to the internets, the amount of information about the publishing world is as abundant as it is overwhelming at times. I follow several literary agents' blogs and Twitter feeds, and many of them will post or retweet relevant links to other agents' blogs and whatnot. I could literally spend an entire day reading agent blogs, linking to one right after the other. Ahhh, if only I had the time. Anyway, I have a point.

I found yet another agent blog yesterday (which was tweeted by the great literary agent Janet Reid of Query Shark), and basically this agent is doing a series about what NOT to put on your blog. In other words, how you should keep your blog professional and not use it to whine about how many rejections you've been getting, and for the love of god, don't post excerpts from your book!

Um. Whoops.

Again, I guess I wasn't considering this a "professional" blog, but in the long run, if I want to be taken seriously, I need to make it just that. It's not completely unlikely that perhaps an agent will stumble upon this blog when I'm in the submission process.

Of course, I plan on sticking with most of my original format- telling you guys how things are going, sharing the stuff that's happening, where I'm at with everything. And I never, ever intended to post anything about how many rejections I've been getting or mention any specific agent names who've rejected me (while I'm being positive- someone out there WILL love me & my work!- I'm sure there will be plenty of rejections). But I still DO intend to share my excitement of this whole process...when I get my first request for a partial or full from someone...when I get any good feedback about things I should change or think about...etc. My feeling is if you're not interested in it, well, no one is making you read it. But this blog is also for ME. Ten years from now, when I'm a successful author (ahem) it'll be fun to look back on where it all began.

I have, however, removed all the posts with my snippets of In My Mind's Eye. Sorry kids. You'll just have to wait for the real deal.

Wait, it's March already?

Shoot. I feel like I'm completely slacking now and totally falling behind my self-imposed schedule/deadline. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to wave goodbye to that awful, cold, snowy, miserable month known as February. But each passing day is making me more and more antsy to start the submission process. And I just haven't had a whole lot of time to make the line by line revisions, let alone the few content revisions I need to get to. I've been trying to set aside time on Sundays, cuz the weeks lately are just shot. And I still need to finish building my agent list. 20 agents is nowhere near enough. SIGH.

My fingers are itching to write. As I think of little phrases and things I want to change I've been typing them down on the notepad in my iPhone. I've also been writing down song lyrics that strike me as appropriate for possible chapter intros. I have no idea how that would work- like with the copyright issues and all that- but I figure I might as well make note of them regardless. I actually have a hard time listening to music when I write, even though I'm completely inspired by it. Is that odd? I find I get distracted by the music though; that I get too wrapped up in the song and can't concentrate on what I'm trying to write. Anyway. I'm babbling. So I'll leave you with these very appropriate song lyrics for In My Mind's Eye:

Sometimes I just can't explain all the ways you devastate me
You're always on my mind
And I try but I'm not convincing
Your lips they pout & twist
I'd die trying just to keep myself from kissing you
-Straylight Run

And it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?
-Mumford & Sons

I'm still breaking old habits
When you pulled the wool over me
And I can see everything, everything
Remembering, jinx removing
Don't worry, I'll catch you
Don't ever worry
You're still all that matters to me
-The Get Up Kids (this was also the song I walked down the aisle to, btw :))

Conflicted

Ever since I went through the process of revising & reworking my query a few weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about the conflict in my book. Some of the main questions I got were "What's the conflict? What's your main character's big decision?" And at first I had a difficult time answering that. Which, of course, is probably not good.

Look, when I set out to write this book, my first goal was just to finish the damn thing. The first draft was an utter mess. After the first two rounds of revisions, I was already sooo much prouder of my work. I think I have a fun, interesting story. Is it an earth-shattering piece of literature? Um, probably not. Will my words inspire and amaze people? Wellllll...no. But will it entertain them for a few hours? I certainly hope so. That's all I can really ask for.

That being said, as I work through the final revisions, I've been thinking about a few more things I want to add. I want to make the conflict Sophie (the MC) is feeling very, very clear. I want people to FEEL the struggle she's going through as she comes to her grand decision at the end of the book. Last night before I fell asleep, I had an idea hit me (as I've mentioned before, I always seem to get ideas right before I fall asleep). It's nothing that will change the overall tone of the story- like, all of a sudden there isn't going to be a pack of angry witches coming after her for her powers or anything. Her conflict will remain mostly internal. But I think I can make it a little clearer what her struggle is. I really want people to get sucked into her story and NEED to know what the ultimate decision is going to be. Something to get them to keep turning the pages.

I think I'm getting there. I know I wanted to start querying this week, but right now it's more important that I have an awesome story. So, hopefully my readers won't mind one more read through...and then I can still start submitting it this spring. I'll say end of March is my new drop dead date. Hey, it'll still be somewhat early in the year...right?

Girls just wanna...

...eat yummy food, drink wine, and watch hot vampires! All of that = FUN. Well, I mean, at least that's what some of MY dear friends and I really, really enjoy doing. I've mentioned my love of The Vampire Diaries here before, and now that the season is back in session after the holiday hiatus we're back to our usual Thursday night shenanigans over at Karyn's apartment. In fact, we never really took a hiatus ourselves. While TVD was on break we watched the first season and some of the second season of True Blood, and we're completely addicted to that show as well. Tonight I'm hosting a girls night at my place so we can catch up on more True Blood season 2 episodes, and, of course, eat a ton of food and drink a ton of wine.

I look forward to Thursdays every single week. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and spending time with him is awesome too, but there's just nothing like being in a room with a few of your wonderful friends and squealing like a 15 year old over shirtless boys on TV without anyone judging you. I'm so glad we started this little tradition, and I hope we continue it indefinitely. Even if TVD goes off the air and we have to find another show with hot boys to fill the void. I just hope whatever show that is also has Ian Somerhalder on it.

Right on target

I know I've mentioned here before that I'm not a huge procrastinator. That being the case, I'm thankfully moving right along with my manuscript and my goals for it. I think when I originally finished the very first draft back in early November, I wanted to start the submission process by the end of January. Well, two more drafts later and I realize that might've been a lofty goal.

Writing my query letter was seriously one of the hardest and most painful things I have ever done. Thanks to the good people over at AgentQueryConnect, about a week after I posted it I finally have a clean, finished version. It changed dramatically from where it began, but I think I have a winner now. Time will tell- if it captures the attention of some agents, then I'll know! If I get rejection after rejection, then I'll know it needs revamping.

So this weekend I spent some time working on line edits from my readers. I want to thank Debbie, Colleen, Karyn, & Holly for catching all those typos and missed words! Clearly I think faster than I type at times. I also made a couple minor changes to the story; just a few things that were nagging at me after I went through the whole query writing process. It's funny how just going through that made me see some of the holes in my story.

I have to reread the whole thing again and try to tighten and clean it up as much as possible. I want to rewrite certain sections that have always left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth- they just don't sound "pretty" enough, if that makes sense. Lastly, I need to write my synopsis, which I plan on trying to do as I reread. I have to read up a bit on how to write a good one, cuz I have no idea where to even begin or how to keep it to 3-5 pages. THAT should be interesting.

Regardless, I'm pretty sure I'm on track to get the submission process started by the end of this month. I just got butterflies in my stomach when I typed that! I can't believe I'm really going through with this! I honestly had no idea I would ever even get THIS far. Time to grow some thick skin and get ready for rejection! But hopefully there will be at least a couple agents out there that want to hear more.

The Speech I Needed to Hear - by Sara Zarr

Please, if you know me at all, take a moment to read this AH-MAY-ZING speech by Sara Zarr, author of the fabulous Sweethearts (I heart you, Cameron Quick!). She gave this speech at a Writer's Conference recently and it almost brought me to tears last night. It's so relevant to what I'm going through right now as an unpublished, wannabe-author.

Sara Zarr's speech

I kinda love this quote:

"Creative lives require us to be blind optimists. Keep writing the stories you want to write. You have to have faith that what matters to you will be a story others want to read. You have to have faith that if you show up to the page, something will happen. That all the stories haven't been used up by other artists."

And this one:

"Nurturing a creative life doesn't happen with the wave of a magic wand. It's not about changing the content of our lives but how we experience them, putting ourselves in a safe place where we can nurture our gifts."

Amen, Sara.

Everyone, go read Sweethearts. Like NOW.