Revising is hard, mmmkay?

I've been sick for a few days, so I haven't really had the desire to pick up my manuscript and start making those much-needed revisions. I finally had a chance last night to sit down and start to look at the beginning of my story and try to figure out where I'm going to move some of the descriptive parts I feel don't need to be at the very beginning. I'd rather get right into the story and give background stuff later.

Wow. It was hard, you guys.

I opened a separate Word document and copied and pasted the sections I want to move over to that, then tried to basically start the beginning where I wanted it to start- with Sophie, present day, the day she sees Brody for the first time at school. But then I went and added back in a little bit of the background stuff- I still think it's important to know right off the bat that she didn't have the most normal childhood. It's vital to understanding why she is the way she is, why her friendship with Jenna is so strong. There's a fine line, I think, between getting right into the meat of the story but making sure readers know who Sophie is first.

I think I'm struggling so much because I just really, really want readers to feel compelled to keep reading after the first two pages. Plus, when you're querying, most agents will ask for either the first chapter or only the first 5-10 pages along with your query letter. This means those first few pages need to be amazing.

And I know this is the first draft of the first completed novel I've ever written. It's going to need work. And while I think it's a good effort, when I compare it to other YA books I've been reading I'm not sure it's anywhere near as good as those. I really sit and wonder how a reader will think mine measures up to the Meg Cabots and Sarah Dessens of the YA world. I'm proud of what I've already accomplished just by finishing it, but I definitely still have my moments of insecurity and doubt.

As I mentioned before, I can't wait to get feedback on it from my "editors". I actually plan on coming up with a list of questions for them before they read it, things that might be nagging on me a little bit to get their thoughts about it.

But for now, I still need a few more days to plug away at the first chapter. Sigh. Wish me luck!