Tuesday, July 19, 2011

antsy

I'm a sensitive person. When other people feel sad or upset, I tend to completely commiserate with them. When someone close to me is in a bad mood, I can feel my own mood start to go south. When there's tension in the air, I feel nervous and uncomfortable and want to remove myself from the situation. On the same note, when those around me are in a good mood, laughing and smiling and have a grand ol' time, I tend to laugh and smile right along with them. I think this is why I've always enjoyed reading and writing so much. It's easy for me to put myself in other peoples' (or characters') shoes and lose myself in a good story.

This isn't to say I don't feel things on my own. I can wake completely crabby without really knowing why just like anyone else. And then nothing can snap me out of those moods, no matter how positive the people around me are.

I hate those days.

I'm feeling exceptionally antsy today for some reason. I'm not totally sure if it has to do with all the negativity I'm feeling around me, or if it's just my own mood pulling me under. I should be flying high right now- I'm leaving for vacation in 4 days, after all! And while part of me is totally excited about that (actually most of me is totally excited about that) there's a little teeny part that is feeling blue. Besides my normal worries (which mostly involve not having enough money) I know I'm dwelling a bit on not enough writing getting done lately, and then of course, waiting on more responses to my queries is just never fun.

So, I would like to take this moment to throw some positivity out there. I said that 2011 would be my year and I'm still counting on that, nevermind that the year is already more than halfway over. There's always next year too, right? And if not next year, the year after that. I will never give up, never push my dream to the side because there aren't enough hours in the day to make it happen. Only I can make it happen.

Today's Happy Thought (needed more than ever, apparently): the new baby giraffe at the Cleveland Zoo. I mean, seriously, how cute is he??

Trevor the baby giraffe!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

10 more days!

For almost as long as I can remember, with the exception of a summer here & there, my family has gone on a week long vacation down to the Outer Banks, North Carolina. I think my first trip there was waaaaaaay back in 1985. As my brother and I have gotten older, we still try to make it there every summer with our significant others, with or without our parents.

This year, however, is a little different. My husband started a new job in January and doesn't accrue a decent amount of vacation time until he's been there a year. In fact, he only received 6 vacation days this year- for the ENTIRE year. I call shenanigans on that! No way is that enough time off for the whole year! But I digress. The main bullet point is he would have to use 5 of his 6 days off to go down to the OBX, and so he'd better hope he doesn't get sick or need any other time off for the remainder of the year.

Plus, my family decided that they were finally going to stay down there for two full weeks. We've been talking about doing that for ages. Therefore, even if I had decided to tag along solo, I would've ended up using almost all MY vacation days for that one trip. As much as I love the OBX, I also love having random days off to look forward to. I could've gone down for just a week by myself, but I'm not comfortable with driving in the car alone for over 11 hours. I know, call me a wuss, but it's also a really complicated drive and I don't need to get lost on the back roads of West-by-god-Virginia somewhere. No thanks.

All that being said, my lovely friend Barra took pity on me and invited me along with her family to Isle of Palms, South Carolina this year. I am super stoked for this trip! I can't wait to see Charleston and make some new fun memories with her and her family. It'll be weird leaving the husband alone for a whole week, but it's nice to think that the cats will have someone to hang out with. I always feel bad leaving them alone (even though I'm sure they sleep for 95% of the time we're gone). We leave in just 10 days now...I remember when the countdown was at 60 days!

I do plan on bringing my trusty lap top with me, cuz you never know when inspiration might strike. One of these days I plan to write a summer vacation-based book too- set in the OBX, of course. Or a place inspired by the OBX, anyway.

Happy thought of the day: The smell of suntan lotion on warm, sun-kissed skin...ahhh

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

When Laziness Prevails...

I'm not sure if it has something to do with the heat and the hazy days of summer, but man, sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mojo a bit here. Don't get me wrong, the WIP is coming along, slowly but surely (another 1000ish words down this weekend- and it was a CRAZY holiday weekend, so I'm glad I even squeezed that much in!), but there are a lot of other things I feel like I could and should be doing to move along my so-called writing career dream. And I just...I don't know...I really should...if I could only...meh.

I'm even having a hard time lately keeping up with all the writerly blogs I follow religiously. And then when I do read them I end up feeling...hmm, how to describe it? Disenchanted? Lazy? Jealous? Tired? Like I-should-just-give-it-up-now-because-I'll-never-end-up-successful-like-these-people?

Gah, I know, right? Nice attitude.

The fact is, I know I should be spending more time back over at AgentQueryConnect, reading queries and offering critiques. I should join a writing group (that's actually in the works, I just haven't been able to make it to any of the meetings yet- they seem to always meet on Saturdays when I have other plans already made) and get a critique partner. At the very least, I should set aside an hour here and there to send out more submissions of In My Mind's Eye. I should make my writing time much more of a priority than I do.

All of these things sound so easy to do, really. The problem is LIFE gets in the way sometimes. Especially in the summer. I'm not trying to make excuses (ok, well maybe I am), but it really does get difficult to find enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I want to spend time with my husband. I want to hang out with my friends. I want to keep my house clean. I want to see my family from time to time. And while I may not want to work, I have a job I need to go to every day in order to pay my ever growing pile of bills.

Sigh.

So. The moral of this story (blog post?) is that I know what I need to do, now to prioritize and find or MAKE the time for all of this to happen. The last thing I want is to end up discouraged or overwhelmed, so much so that I just give up. I love writing and I honestly do hope that one day I'll see my name on a shelf in one of my favorite bookstores. That's the ultimate dream. And someday I will live it.

Hopefully.