Happy New Year!

Well, I've thoroughly enjoyed my nice week off from work. I actually can't believe it's already coming to an end, but it is what it is. I had a wonderful holiday this year as usual; my family generally spoils each other and this year was no exception. I have SO MANY books to read, you guys. I think I got around 12 books. Maybe more. This is perfect for the hibernation season that is upon us now. January and February are such awful months. I avoid leaving the house at all costs as much as possible. Staying snuggled up on the couch under cats and blankets with a pile of books, some snacks, and some hot tea (or wine, as the case may be) is the perfect way to get through the miserable winter months.

Anyway, it being New Year's Eve and all, I thought I would share some resolutions. Of course, I very rarely keep them, so I very rarely bother to make them. But I'm really hoping that my dream comes true in 2011. The dream of someone telling me they like what I wrote and they want to help me get it published. So obviously, this is my main goal for the year. If all else fails, and I don't get any bites on my manuscript, then I vow to start another, better book and keep going at it. I have plenty of ideas in my head to keep plugging away writing for a looooong time. Someday, I will make it happen. But for now, my fingers are staying crossed for 2011being my year.

My other resolutions are the same as always- work out more, stop spending so much money I don't have (this will probably never happen, but at least I can say I'm making an effort...sorta), stop worrying about the small things so much. Try to appreciate all that I have, which quite honestly is a damn lot. Cherish my friends and family, never take anyone for granted.

Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to a fabulous 2011!!

holiday craziness

Whew. I feel like I've been running totally nonstop since last week, and it's really starting to wear on me a bit. For over a week now I've been scrambling to finish shopping, bake cookies, wrap presents, have a social life, go to Christmas parties, etc. Oh, and eat. I've been eating a ton of delicious food. I'm happy to say that as of this past weekend, my shopping and wrapping are DONE. Our living/dining room is filled with pretty sparkly presents everywhere. Yay. Still none under the tree for me though...ahem. I do need to bake another batch of M&M cookies, because somehow those seem to have disappeared.

Anyway, I'm totes excited for this coming weekend. Christmas Eve is one of my absolute favorite days of the year. We always spend the day at my Gramma's house, eating her fabulous Lake Erie perch and homemade pierogies. And her mushroom soup- I'm not a huge soup fan, but I make an exception for this stuff. It's definitely my favorite meal of the year, even topping Thanksgiving. We stuff ourselves silly, do our gift exchange, and generally just enjoy hanging out with each other. Afterwards, Dan and I go home and open our gifts to each other before heading out to the east side. We started a new tradition about five years ago- we go out there in the evening, hang with my brother and seeester in law, order Chinese food & watch Christmas Vacation (which, I might add, we haven't watched yet this holiday season...what's up with that??). Christmas morning is spent at my parent's house, opening gifts and making breakfast, then we head to Dan's mom's for the rest of the day. It's definitely a crazy time, but I wouldn't change anything about it.

Sometimes I find myself getting a little sad though. My wonderful, awesome, hilarious Grampa passed away on December 22nd back in 1997. I honestly can't believe it's been that long, and ohhh how I wish Dan had gotten to meet him. Then about five years ago or so, my sweet Grandma O passed away around this time as well. I was her "little mouse", and it's one of my biggest regrets that I missed visiting her in the hospital before she passed. I remember when I was really little, every Christmas she would give me an ornament right off her tree, and I have those ornaments on my tree today. I miss them so much, but it really makes me cherish the moments I have left with my last Gramma. She amazes me with everything she still does at age 84.

So here's to another crazy busy week and good times with family and dear friends ahead. Remember what this season is truly about. It's so easy to get lost in all the materialistic aspects of Christmas at times, but it's truly about showing the people who mean the most to you how much you care about them.

Well, and eating lots of good food, too. ;o)

So You Wanna Write a Novel

Heh...appropriate...

'Tis the Season...

Whoa, so it's been over a week since I've posted anything here...sorry, you guys. Work has been a little crazy and so has, well, everything else.

The holiday season is officially upon us, and I generally do love this time of year. I love shopping (obvs), I love twinkling Christmas lights, baking cookies, spending time with friends and family, etc. I'm not a huge fan of snow, however, and we've been getting hit with it for a good three days now. Um...and only four more months of this?? Joy. Someone remind me why I live in a cold climate. Seasons, schmeasons...I could totally do without winter.

Anyway, last Friday I was off work and spent the whole day Christmas shopping with my mom and sis in law. I'd say I'm about 75% done. I need to revise my lists and make sure I know what's left to get and where I need to go, because Dan and I are heading back out on Friday afternoon and I plan on totally finishing up. I love lists, too, by the way. I have my Christmas lists down to a science, and this year I also have an app on my phone that keeps track of what I've bought and how much I've spent per person. Brilliant! One would think I'd feel super organized and in control of everything...but um, I really don't. For some reason this year I feel totally scatterbrained about what I've bought and still need to get. It's bizarre. I think once I make my new list I'll feel a little better, though. I hope.

After shopping this Friday I'm hoping to start wrapping stuff too. Our tilty tree looks so lonely with no sparkly presents underneath it! I love wrapping presents. I love pretty shiny paper and big giant bows. I'm a total nerd about wrapping (like so many things, really). I hate gift bags and only use them when something is totally odd-shaped and won't fit in a box. Then Saturday is baking day with Karyn! She's coming over and I plan on making four types of cookies this year - peanut butter blossoms, m&m cookies, chocolate chip & gingerbread. I'm cheating with the gingerbread and using a mix, because the mix I found is DELICIOUS. Everything else is from scratch though.

So with everything going on this busy time of year, my poor manuscript has been collecting dust a little bit on my jump drive. I've been trying to work on revisions whenever I can, but as I mentioned before it's terribly slow-going. I think I'm only through about 3 and a half chapters so far. But I'm liking where it's going. I've been taking out stuff that bothered me, switching more things around, and adding stuff based on the feedback I got. I'm still hoping to have the first round of revisions done before Christmas...but if not, I do at least have the week between Christmas and New Year's off, so I'll have some good quality time to work on it.

I'll try to post some pics up here sometime of our tree and stuff...if I ever have a spare moment again...

Git 'Er Done

I've never been much of a procrastinator. Back in school, I generally raced to get assignments done so that I could move on to more important things, like hang out and drink coffee with friends. I hated putting stuff off til the last minute and never, ever pulled an all-nighter to study or complete a paper. At any job I've ever had, if there's work to be done, I just get it done. End of story. I'd much rather be busy than sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

Let's be honest though. There are always those projects that I dread, that are mind-numbing or have no real deadline. Those are the ones I do, in fact, put off for a while.

So after another week off from In My Mind's Eye, last night I finally worked on revisions for over two hours. I just barely got through the first three chapters. And after looking back at some of my feedback, I realized there's still some more tweaking to do on those chapters. It's a much longer process than I ever dreamed it would be. As I mentioned before, I already completely changed the beginning, but last night I moved even a few more things around. I have a document started of the pieces I've been removing, and my original intention was to put those pieces back in somewhere else. Now I'm thinking the story might be ok without them. Ahhh, decisions.

I really, really want to get this completed and have the best manuscript I can possibly write in my paws before I start querying agents (and want this to happen by the end of January at the latest). I think I'm just starting to be afraid that I'll never be done revising, that there are always going to be more things I think I should change or move around. Like, when does it end? How will I know I'm really, truly done? Every time I think a chapter is complete, I decide to change it again. Is this going to happen with each and every chapter? Every time I open the story, I'm going to want to change more stuff?? Ugh. It's stressing me out just thinking about it.

I don't feel like I'm procrastinating about getting the revisions done, I just feel like I need more time to do them. Like, twelve straight hours of uninterrupted time to sit and read and fix things. And I will never get that much time all at once. Certainly not at this time of year.

But I know I'll get it done, eventually. Last night I was reading through my Twitter feed, and I follow a handful of YA authors. All of them seem to know each other. They respond to each other's tweets and offer encouragement and praise for each other's novels. I want to be a part of that community. More than anything I've ever wanted before.

Ding Ding! Round 1!

One of my editors finished reading In My Mind's Eye already and provided me with some really good feedback. Basically she said the beginning definitely needs to be reworked because it doesn't have the same feel or rhythm as the rest of the book. This was no big surprise, as I couldn't agree more. So. Back to the drawing board.

The last time I tried to rewrite the beginning, I basically took what I already had and removed some paragraphs, rearranged some stuff, and then added a bit back in. It didn't work. It was still too...I don't know, wordy. I stared at it for a good two hours before finally just giving up. I think having a good week or so away from the story helped immensely. This time, I opened a brand new word document and just started the beginning completely fresh.

And guess what? It is SO MUCH BETTER.

I left the opening two paragraphs as is, which may or may not end up becoming a short preface. But the new beginning FINALLY flows right into the story, without a crapload of character description and background info. I think I'm finally getting there. I think readers won't get bored within the first five pages anymore, getting bogged down with so much info right off the bat. I think they'll now be curious to find out more...they might be scratching their heads a little until they get to the part where I explain why Sophie is the way she is. Which will still be towards the beginning, it just won't open with it anymore. But having some incentive to keep reading is a good thing, yes?

Hallefreakinglujah, you guys. I feel like this has been a major breakthrough. And I've only gotten one person's feedback so far! By the time I get everyone else's, I'll definitely have a bestselling novel on my hands. Er...right?

Anyway. It's Friday and I have a lovely low key weekend with the husband in front of me. It's the calm before the storm that is the insanity of the holiday season. I'll be pretty much booked every weekend through New Year's after this, so I'm planning on enjoying my down time! Happy weekend, everyone!

TEABS!

The title of this blog is completely stolen from my favorite website, Forever Young Adult. It means The End of an Awesome Book Syndrome. The main symptom I experienced yesterday (and there are several, you'll have to go to their website for the full definition) was "After finishing the final sentence, you stare at the last page for at least two minutes. An irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath are common side effects during this stage."

I experienced this not once, but twice yesterday. First, when I finished The Hunger Games at lunchtime. I know some of you have already read it, but holy crap, you guys. Must. Read. More. I'm totally going to go out & get the other two in the series this week. Then, last night, because I'm taking a break from my own book while my editors are reading it, I decided to start another little YA novel called Sweethearts by Sarah Zarr. Yea, I got totally sucked in and read the whole thing in about three hours, finishing it right before I went to bed (and completely ignoring my poor husband in the process- sorry, babe). I just could not put it down!

I don't want to get into too many details about it, but it's one of those books that really inspired me. I was a little bummed out by the ending (mainly because I'm a sucker for happy endings- and while this was basically happy, it still wasn't exactly what I wanted to happen). It was about the special childhood friendship between a girl and a boy who were both basically outcasts, teased and tormented every day at their school. Boy moves away, leaving girl to fend for herself, and she totally reinvents herself after a few years and a new school. Boy returns several years later and her past slaps her in the face- all the things she's tried so hard to forget come rushing back in.

I've often thought about writing a book about my experiences being bullied in grade school & then again in junior high. To be honest, I've blocked a lot of it out. I only remember that a few select kids decided just to not like me one day, and they made my life a living hell. I think that's why this book touched me so much. It's not something I really ever talk about- in fact, even writing it here is extremely difficult. I know a lot of kids go through this stuff and survive and turn out to be pretty awesome people. Some don't. I believe there were about four suicides at my old high school due to bullying over the past year or so. The reactions former classmates had to these suicides were somewhat interesting- a lot of people "can't remember high school being that bad". Um, yea, because you weren't on the receiving end of the bullying. But god...kids can be so ruthless. I can still recall the terror of stepping on to the bus in the morning, waiting for the relentless name calling to begin. The feeling of being so, so alone, without anyone to sit with at lunchtime. I didn't have a Cameron Quick for even a little while like Jennifer did in the story. I'd like to think that going through all that still made me a stronger person, but I'm not really sure that's true.

I am so, so blessed today to have an amazing group of friends, some of them still from high school. I would do anything for any one of them. I'm so blessed that after a few awful failed relationships, my heart was able to heal and I finally found my husband, my other half. The stuff I went through as a kid sometimes seems like ancient history, other times, when I'm feeling especially insecure, it's like it's still just simmering under the surface of my skin. Like Jennifer in the book, a lot of times I push all the bad memories away and struggle to appear confident and in control.

I didn't mean to get all heavy in this blog...but I do love when a book affects me like this. Regardless of whatever bad stuff it brought up, feeling inspired is always a good thing.