antsy

I'm a sensitive person. When other people feel sad or upset, I tend to completely commiserate with them. When someone close to me is in a bad mood, I can feel my own mood start to go south. When there's tension in the air, I feel nervous and uncomfortable and want to remove myself from the situation. On the same note, when those around me are in a good mood, laughing and smiling and have a grand ol' time, I tend to laugh and smile right along with them. I think this is why I've always enjoyed reading and writing so much. It's easy for me to put myself in other peoples' (or characters') shoes and lose myself in a good story.

This isn't to say I don't feel things on my own. I can wake completely crabby without really knowing why just like anyone else. And then nothing can snap me out of those moods, no matter how positive the people around me are.

I hate those days.

I'm feeling exceptionally antsy today for some reason. I'm not totally sure if it has to do with all the negativity I'm feeling around me, or if it's just my own mood pulling me under. I should be flying high right now- I'm leaving for vacation in 4 days, after all! And while part of me is totally excited about that (actually most of me is totally excited about that) there's a little teeny part that is feeling blue. Besides my normal worries (which mostly involve not having enough money) I know I'm dwelling a bit on not enough writing getting done lately, and then of course, waiting on more responses to my queries is just never fun.

So, I would like to take this moment to throw some positivity out there. I said that 2011 would be my year and I'm still counting on that, nevermind that the year is already more than halfway over. There's always next year too, right? And if not next year, the year after that. I will never give up, never push my dream to the side because there aren't enough hours in the day to make it happen. Only I can make it happen.

Today's Happy Thought (needed more than ever, apparently): the new baby giraffe at the Cleveland Zoo. I mean, seriously, how cute is he??

Trevor the baby giraffe!

10 more days!

For almost as long as I can remember, with the exception of a summer here & there, my family has gone on a week long vacation down to the Outer Banks, North Carolina. I think my first trip there was waaaaaaay back in 1985. As my brother and I have gotten older, we still try to make it there every summer with our significant others, with or without our parents.

This year, however, is a little different. My husband started a new job in January and doesn't accrue a decent amount of vacation time until he's been there a year. In fact, he only received 6 vacation days this year- for the ENTIRE year. I call shenanigans on that! No way is that enough time off for the whole year! But I digress. The main bullet point is he would have to use 5 of his 6 days off to go down to the OBX, and so he'd better hope he doesn't get sick or need any other time off for the remainder of the year.

Plus, my family decided that they were finally going to stay down there for two full weeks. We've been talking about doing that for ages. Therefore, even if I had decided to tag along solo, I would've ended up using almost all MY vacation days for that one trip. As much as I love the OBX, I also love having random days off to look forward to. I could've gone down for just a week by myself, but I'm not comfortable with driving in the car alone for over 11 hours. I know, call me a wuss, but it's also a really complicated drive and I don't need to get lost on the back roads of West-by-god-Virginia somewhere. No thanks.

All that being said, my lovely friend Barra took pity on me and invited me along with her family to Isle of Palms, South Carolina this year. I am super stoked for this trip! I can't wait to see Charleston and make some new fun memories with her and her family. It'll be weird leaving the husband alone for a whole week, but it's nice to think that the cats will have someone to hang out with. I always feel bad leaving them alone (even though I'm sure they sleep for 95% of the time we're gone). We leave in just 10 days now...I remember when the countdown was at 60 days!

I do plan on bringing my trusty lap top with me, cuz you never know when inspiration might strike. One of these days I plan to write a summer vacation-based book too- set in the OBX, of course. Or a place inspired by the OBX, anyway.

Happy thought of the day: The smell of suntan lotion on warm, sun-kissed skin...ahhh

When Laziness Prevails...

I'm not sure if it has something to do with the heat and the hazy days of summer, but man, sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mojo a bit here. Don't get me wrong, the WIP is coming along, slowly but surely (another 1000ish words down this weekend- and it was a CRAZY holiday weekend, so I'm glad I even squeezed that much in!), but there are a lot of other things I feel like I could and should be doing to move along my so-called writing career dream. And I just...I don't know...I really should...if I could only...meh.

I'm even having a hard time lately keeping up with all the writerly blogs I follow religiously. And then when I do read them I end up feeling...hmm, how to describe it? Disenchanted? Lazy? Jealous? Tired? Like I-should-just-give-it-up-now-because-I'll-never-end-up-successful-like-these-people?

Gah, I know, right? Nice attitude.

The fact is, I know I should be spending more time back over at AgentQueryConnect, reading queries and offering critiques. I should join a writing group (that's actually in the works, I just haven't been able to make it to any of the meetings yet- they seem to always meet on Saturdays when I have other plans already made) and get a critique partner. At the very least, I should set aside an hour here and there to send out more submissions of In My Mind's Eye. I should make my writing time much more of a priority than I do.

All of these things sound so easy to do, really. The problem is LIFE gets in the way sometimes. Especially in the summer. I'm not trying to make excuses (ok, well maybe I am), but it really does get difficult to find enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do. I want to spend time with my husband. I want to hang out with my friends. I want to keep my house clean. I want to see my family from time to time. And while I may not want to work, I have a job I need to go to every day in order to pay my ever growing pile of bills.

Sigh.

So. The moral of this story (blog post?) is that I know what I need to do, now to prioritize and find or MAKE the time for all of this to happen. The last thing I want is to end up discouraged or overwhelmed, so much so that I just give up. I love writing and I honestly do hope that one day I'll see my name on a shelf in one of my favorite bookstores. That's the ultimate dream. And someday I will live it.

Hopefully.

Isn't It Good...

This past weekend was fantastic as far as getting some good writing time in. I was super motivated to write, so write I did! My new WIP is now nearing the 10,000 word mark, with about 3,000 of those words brand spankin' new as of Saturday. I'm starting to feel the story unravel as I write it. I'm not worried anymore about the things I was questioning so much in the beginning. I'm just allowing it to come out as I write it. I'm already attached to my characters and I can't wait to get back to them. I was so concerned at first about how it was all going to come together...but I just have to tell you guys, sometimes when I get going even I don't know where I'm pulling this shizz from. Someone once asked me in regards to my last story "How do you come up with so many words?" My honest answer is: I don't know. I don't know where they come from, but they need to get out. And plus, making stuff up is just so much fun. You really should try it sometime.

A little sidenote: my inspiration for this book is the song Norweigan Wood by the Beatles. You'll see it pop up from time to time in the story, specifically these lyrics from it:

I once had a girl
or should I say
She once had me

And when I awoke, I was alone
this bird had flown

That's really all I can say about that at the moment...I actually haven't even worked that into the story yet, but it's coming. Very soon.

Anyway. So my motivation to write this weekend soared. My motivation to run, however, was non-existant. I'm not sure I mentioned here before, but I started training (well, I use the word "training" pretty loosely) to run a 5K- my goal is to be able to run at the Race for the Cure in September. I've been doing the Couch to 5K program for the past 3 weeks- I did week 2 a couple extra times. I had planned on running this weekend, but um, yea. Didn't happen. I'm going to hit the treadmill this afternoon and start week 3...it's not going to be pretty. I'm starting to feel the urge to give up on it, quite honestly, and just go back to the elliptical and pilates. I've never been a runner (I can't even count the one year I ran hurdles on the track team in high school, because I sucked so hard) and I'm not sure why I think I can start it up now in my old age. Running and me...well, we just don't click.

Happy thought of the day: Lending friends books I love so, so much. I just handed over Jellicoe Road this morning...that book almost damn near killed me. I love it so. Sweethearts is next for you, Patti! :o)

Summer Reading List

You guys, I am never short on books to read. If my stack starts to get low, I head immediately to Half Priced Books or Amazon and start buying more. It's a little bit of a sickness, I know. And now that I got my Nook the sky's the limit. I can check out new authors who are selling their novels at a steal of a price- usually under $5- a marvelous idea to get your work out there, I think. Also I can download my favorite authors for a lot cheaper than buying a physical copy, AND I can download books from the library! Although I have to say, my library's eBook selection is not so great yet...but hopefully they'll be adding more and more.

Anyway. I thought I would take a moment to share some of the books I plan on delving into this summer. These are all books sitting in my stack at home, or books I plan on buying/getting from the library. Some are just coming out, some have been out forever, but regardless I plan on getting to 'em! And yes, the majority of this list is YA...deal with it.

Forever by Maggie Stiefvater - I devoured the first two books in the Shiver series this winter. Stiefvater's writing about a girl and her love for a boy-wolf (not really a werewolf, per se, just a boy who turns wolf when the temperature drops) is beautiful and poetic and you can't help but be drawn right in. Forever comes out in July, and is the conclusion to the trilogy. This is definitely one I'm buying a hard copy of to complete my series.

Looking for Alaska and An Abundance of Katherines by John Green - I. Love. John. Green. I don't honestly know what it is about his books- they just have the perfect blend of humor and sincerity. I laugh, I cry, I laugh some more, and just generally enjoy every word. The characters are so believable- I feel like I've known people just like everyone he describes. So yea. Can't wait to read more of his stuff.

Matched by Allie Condie - This will be the first book I've read by Condie, so I don't have anything to compare it to. It's set in the future, where your perfect mate is picked for you via a matching ceremony. A computer glitch causes the main character to wonder if her match was wrong...you get the idea.

It's Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han This is the second book in Han's "Summer" trilogy, and I read the first one back in the fall. It was a lovely little YA romance in a beach setting- I'm figuring the second one will be just as lovely for me to read while I'm on the beach. I don't actually own this one yet, but plan on downloading it before I head out on vacation. I just love books set on summer vacations...a setting I will surely use in one of my own books one day.

Delirium by Lauren Oliver - I have to admit, Oliver's other book that I read this spring, Before I Fall, was a bit of a downer and a frustrating read. But that didn't mean I could put it down. I was completely sucked in to the story, regardless of how much I wanted to punch the main character in the neck. Delirium is completely different though- it's a dystopian, set in the future where you're given a "cure" when you turn 18 so you don't ever fall in love- falling in love = pain and scientists have eradicated it. Very interesting concept...

And now a couple non-YA:

Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner - I've read all of Weiner's other books, and this is one I actually bought for my last vacation and never got around to reading. Too many good YA books got in the way, I guess. I hope to finally get to this one this summer- although I remember feeling her last book was just "eh".

My Fair Lazy by Jen Lancaster Jen's (I feel like she's my friend, so we're on a first name basis here) books are HI-freaking-LARIOUS. I've kinda been putting off reading this one because her latest is fiction and not autobiographical, so I want to hold on to this one for a while. Although I'm sure her foray into fiction is going to be awesomely funny too.

You'd think that many books would get me through the summer, eh? It might...but probably not.

Happy thought of the day: Ok, well this really isn't a "thought", but it still cracks me up- every morning when I'm making the bed, Stewie dives under the throw blanket on the end and "hides". Then we play peek-a-boo for a minute. This happens pretty much every. single. day. and it never gets old.

No. Just...No.

So I'm totally late in posting my reaction to this batshit crazy article that ran last weekend in the Wall Street Journal. I'm not sure if I had to take the time to gather my thoughts on it or what, but...yea.

As someone who's a HUGE fan of Young Adult fiction, I am completely shocked by this article. A quick synopsis: apparently, this lady went to Barnes and Noble to buy her daughter a book, and she was just appalled at all the terrible, dark and scary books that are out there for teen readers these days. There was, and I quote, "nothing, not a thing" that she felt she could give to her daughter- "It was all vampires and suicide and self-mutilation, this dark, dark stuff."

Excuse me? So apparently this B&N doesn't carry any John Green or Sarah Dessen or Meg Cabot? Really? REALLLLLY?

So then the writer of the article goes on to say that all these books dealing with self-mutilation, abuse, depression, homosexuality- in other words, all things that HAPPEN IN THE REAL WORLD, are basically going to open doors for kids who otherwise would be blind to such topics. That "books focusing on pathologies help normalize them and, in the case of self-harm, may even spread their plausibility and likelihood to young people who might otherwise never have imagined such extreme measures." I suppose she also may think that a group of kids aged 13-18 may end up in the streets fighting to the death for our amusement just because the Hunger Games is so popular.

Look, bad things are out there (ok, well maybe not vampires, but still). And kids are going to experience some of these said bad things, regardless of whether or not there are books about them. I find it slightly hysterical to think that the lady looking for a book for her teen daughter really, truly believes that her daughter has lived THAT sheltered of a life. Provided she does, in fact, go to a regular high school. I think that kids can actually find comfort in these types of "dark" books- just knowing you're not alone in your suffering can make all the difference.

Anyway, so yes, there are books out there for young adults that cover "dark" topics. But there are also TONS of books out there that are light-hearted, funny and still manage to have a message (I'm looking at you, my new-favorite-author John Green).

I'm not saying the writer of the article isn't allowed to have her own opinion on teen literature. I'm just saying, perhaps she should actually, I don't know, READ some of it.

I'm actually too annoyed now to do a happy thought for the day.

A Slacker No More

Yikes, my last post was May 17th? Doesn't seem like it's been over two weeks since I posted...time is just flying by these days! Probably because it's finally SUMMER.

We kicked off the start of my second favorite season (fall is my favorite favorite, sorry summer) with a cookout Memorial Day weekend. So I spent some time getting ready for that- shopping, cleaning, setting up the house, etc. It's pretty much our one big party of the year, since it's too hard to do stuff at our place when the weather is crappy (our parking situation blows). We had a good turnout and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time. Lots of food and cornhole and drinks, as per yoosh.

Then I actually FINALLY got some writing done on Monday. Like, a good, solid two+ hours of writing. I'm super excited for this one, too, and can't wait to get some initial reactions from my trusty readers. Of course the beginning will probably change a few times before it's done DONE, but I definitely would like some feedback to see if I'm going in the right direction. I believe I have around 7000 words, or about 3-4 chapters, so far. Clearly I have a long way to go, but it's awesome to be excited about writing again. I just burned myself out on In My Mind's Eye towards the end there.

In other news, I splurged and bought myself Barnes & Noble's ereader, the Nook! They were having a super sale on the first editions since the second edition is coming out now, so I couldn't resist- I've wanted an ereader for awhile. The best thing about this one is that I can borrow books from the library on it! I already borrowed my first one, too (Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green, my new favorite author) and can't wait to start reading it. If anyone else has a Nook and has any tips or would like to share books (when I finally purchase some, that is), let me know!

Happy thought of the day: Flip flop season!